Phoenix Rising - A Prayer for Japan

The Phoenix has long been presented as a symbol of rebirth, immortality, and renewal.

With horror and disbelief, we watch the ongoing tragedy in Japan. The devastation and loss of life is numbing. News and social media provides us with images that leave us feeling helpless in the face of such calamity, sadness and misery.

Like the survivors of 9/11, the Japanese people will first try to find their loved ones and memorials will begin.

I thought I would dedicate this post to the people of Japan. Their love of harmony, diligence, order, community, beauty. Their ancient traditions and religions will provide strength. 90% of Japan is either Buddhist or Shinto, or a combination of the two.

 Buddhism tries to alleviate suffering and stresses compassion, while acknowledging that death is part of life.

Shinto culture is described as similar to Native American or tribal religions and strongest in rural environments. It is about the local spirits of a particular place; and they can be beneficial or destructive.

Whomever you pray to, let's say a collective prayer for the people of Japan...

The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat - On the Bench and in Life

As a self-taught artist, I'm constantly struggling between the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I do love the constant high of learning new techniques and discovering new materials. Making jewelry has turned into a real passion and obsession. It's kind of all I think about these days. I feel an actual physical ache when I can't work at it because of other responsibilities getting in the way.

The burning question in my mind these days is why are some days so good and some, so bad.
To be more specific, why are there days on the bench when everything goes right and days when nothing you do works at all? And the bad day can immediate follow the good day and you're using all the same techniques you used the day before?

Is it cosmic? Do the sun, moon and stars have to be aligned correctly?
Is it environmental? The music you're playing? Hormonal?

I believe everyone experiences this dichotomy in all areas of their work or play. Including the personal work we try to do within ourselves; self-improvement. Some days we're "good" and others, we are just so bad.

On a good day, when the solder flows, and the stone fits in the bezel, and the saw blade doesn't break, time is non-existent and you're one with your creation. For me, it's an almost indescribable feeling (I'm trying to think of how to describe it here without much success). It's a high, a sense of accomplishment, a sense of wonder and magic.

And on a bad day? Frustration, self-doubt, despair, but again, a sense of wonder or perhaps puzzlement is a better word. Why?

Perhaps my expectations were too high? My techniques not accomplished enough? I was impatient and rushing rather than letting things flow?

I think the last two are very tangible realities, unfortunately. But at least, if recognized, something concrete that can be worked on. Interestingly, it's not just about technique; it's about ourself. About being one with the creation and flow, rather than control.

I guess the highs wouldn't feel so elevated without feeling the alternatives.

One of the difficult lessons to put into practice is when to walk away, cool off, do some push-ups, take a hike, take a nap...and come back when you're fresh. I've found this almost always works, on the bench and in life. It's sounds easy...except for that voice in your ear saying, "if I just try once more, or do it this way, or I'm not quitting yet..."

It's not quitting, it's taking a breather and regrouping. It's forgiving yourself and accepting.

This cuff is a piece I struggled with, off and on, for several days, which stretched into a couple of weeks due to having to walk away. Many times. It's not quite finished, but it was my first attempt at working with mixed metals. I was inspired by this lovely Picasso Marble cabochon. It reminds me of a fairy tale; an Arthur Rackham illustration of a slightly threatening, mysterious forest landscape. It speaks to my inner elf.

It was worth the struggle. I'm very pleased and excited about it. I can't wait to work on another mixed metal piece, or any new material or technique. Knowing when to forgive myself if "it's not flowing", enjoying one moment at a time and accepting the hardships as the pathway to peace.

The Blank Page

I'm a newbie, slogging my way through the labyrinth of social networking, trying to find forums and sites that feel interesting and "safe" for someone like me who's never done this before. There's a real vulnerability about telling stories to strangers, although for a writer, I can understand the thrill of a captive audience. Well, perhaps not "captive" but certainly an audience.

I'm an artist, a painter and metalsmith. For me, the fear, the wall, the leap off the cliff is the Blank Page. Or canvas. Or metal and stones and wire to be turned into a piece of jewelry.
Where to start? How to start? How do I get the idea in my head onto the paper? What if I have no ideas in my head?

Which brings me here, to my first online story, ever. I registered several days ago, designed my page,  stared at my page with fear and longing...how does one just jump in for the first?
It's very much like walking into a huge room full of people at a party where you know no one. 

I'm also a solitary sort of person, a loner, never much of a joiner. Don't get me wrong...I'm not antisocial or a misanthrope. I just like to work alone and intensely. And I like being with my friends
and meeting new and interesting people. Since we moved to Cape Cod last year, I have met the most interesting people at farmers markets and flea markets...talk about a social network!

I don't know if any of you out there are familiar with this great book called The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. 
It's been around for quite awhile but still inspires. It's a great read and workbook for anyone, not just artists. Personally, I believe we are all artists in one way or another; we may not have discovered our way or talent yet. But this book helps you face the "blank page" and find your inner creative being. (Obviously, I need to read it again, myself).

Well, I'm not sure this is much of a story, but at least I've done something. I wrote on the blank page. It's a start. And it feels pretty good. 

Maybe the next time will be easier...